17 years i have studied and dedicated myself to early childhood education. things like :: vygotsky, piaget, montessori, steiner, gardner, erikson, reggio emilia + more have been mainstays in my theories and practices as i have served families. 17 years of working full time. 17 years teaching + directing preschool. and today... i am in awe that said journey is coming to an end. tomorrow i begin a new journey. a journey serving my own family. teaching my own children, solely. a long awaited dream has come to life. and yet, i feel so awkward. working full time is all i've ever known. serving other families is all i have ever done. society seems to say staying home to be mama is not worthy of a professional status. not that status is important. at all. staying home to be mama is all i've ever wanted. but i do feel a struggle today. i feel a bit guilty that i will no longer be contributing funds to our ever increasing expenses. i feel that many do not understand the duties of everyday mama-hood. nor appreciate it for that matter. how can you appreciate something that you do not understand? i have changed. my philosophy + passion for children and education has greatly changed. i am appalled at my former 'professional' self. urging parents to enroll their children into our care- full time. into our education. into our hands. children spending more awake hours at school rather than home. children with teachers more than their parents. how could i have believed in this system? it saddens me to think about the children who are at 'school' before breakfast and go home just in time to eat dinner, take a bath & go to bed. it is evident in their behavior that this system is detrimental to their very being. i feel convicted. i was an advocate. i was an active member of organizations promoting 'excellence' in child development. and all the while, i was essentially promoting society's voice :: mom + dad both have to work to make it in today's world. working is important. children need to be in school. children need to be socialized. children need to learn. trained teachers are the ones who can teach them best. you do believe all of society's points right? or perhaps not. if you want to know more... feel free to ask. i'd love to share. but for now... i'm signing off. this post is much longer than anticipated. i do believe it is the longest post i have ever written! :) if you are still reading, i apologize for rambling on... thanks for making it with me this far! xoxo.

it was w-i-n-d-y at the beach today. our stay was brief. but very magical. the ocean's movement was rapid. kinda like this kid's growth! sometimes i feel so crabby. (lack of sleep perhaps?) i miss out on these precious moments. note to self:: pause. breathe. take it all in. and enjoy!

1| my name

2| my hometown

3| my favorite color

4| my favorite food

5| a word to describe me

6| my dream vacation

7| what i want to be

8| my favorite dessert

9| my favorite movie

10| my favorite drink

11| how i am feeling right now

12| what i love most

answers:: jennifer. long beach. white. anything @ sarento's, maui. bohemian. france. a housewife. creme brulee. anne of green gables. red wine. like a gypsy. being a mama.

do play along:: create your own mosaic with the answers to the above questions and post, and of course... let me know you did so i can see the goodness. or, simply comment your 12 answers. i would love to know more.

today, i just wanted to whine. so, of course, i decided to wine. isaak had a horrible eczema day. ezra had a horrible teething day. scot had to work. mama had to mama. so i opened the wine and began to pour. considering my trials of the day. but as i began to sip the grape's goodness, wine for water came to mind. my perspective changed. i became grateful. my life's little stumbling blocks seemed quite insignificant when pondering such global realities. check out our good friend's mission at wine for water. consider their campaign next time you are partaking in wine... or water for that matter! and be encouraged. cheers.

perfect blue skies.  gentle breezes blowing the palm trees above.  the smell of delicious barbecue.  ezra joyfully swinging on the patio.  [he popped his first tooth today!] a glass of red.  good tunes.  oh happy day.  our dinner menu:: grilled asparagus, onions & chicken, eggplant hummus & corn chips, baked potatoes.  yum.  what made your day happy?

i have truly enjoyed my recent adventures in blogging.  i have met a whole new community of mamas.  it is so encouraging to find kindred spirits near and far.  it has given me an opportunity to share my thoughts, and reminds me to be grateful each day.  it allows my family a peek at our everyday lives, and connects us in a deeper way. it encourages me to live the life i desire to live.  it challenges me to grow and try new things. it teaches me.  

how delighted i was to receive a bit of recognition, being given a blog award, by amazing blogger and fellow l.a. mama joni.  she blogs at the encouraging mama milieu and the delicious feeding little foodies.  check out her beautiful photographs and words of wisdom.

to do my part in receiving the award, includes sharing seven interesting tidbits about me as well as sharing seven blogs that i admire.  and so...

t i d b i t s ::

1| i thought my holly hobbie & strawberry shortcake tin lunch pails were the grandest
2| i traveled across america when i was 17 with my grandma for a month in her van, it was the       most amazing time that will forever be cherished, till this day we still laugh at our good times
3| i quote movies way too much & the only person who understands is my husband who does the same thing
4| i only have one kidney, my brother has my other one
5| i camped @ lake tahoe every summer for 15 years of my youth & treasure every memory
6| i wish i could've seen jeff buckley perform live
7| i often use words of the past: forth, shall, delight, indeed, etc.

b l o g s ::

1| lisa leonard

i love lisa's photography and charming words.  she keeps it brief, which makes visiting nice.  she creates amazing hand stamped jewelry.  she is an old friend from the past, which makes it extra special to re-connect.

2| apples for poppy anne

erin is a kindred spirit.  she writes from her soul.  she shares herself completely.  she is extremely talented in her photography and has a very creative eye.  her baby girl's middle name is the same middle name i would have chosen if i were to have a baby girl.  ann with an e.  she has challenged my photography with her weekly assignments at 'it begins with a colour.'  i have thoroughly enjoyed coming to find her blog.

3| so wabi sabi

elizabeth has a very calming blog.  inspiring indeed.  her photographs make me yearn for a charmed life.  a life of simple pleasures and organic beauty.  her son's name is also on my list of names if i were to have another baby boy.  jude.  i love it.  her husband (like mine) is also a talented, fine woodworker.  plus, i just am drawn to the sweet japanese flair of 'so wabi sabi.'

4| urban organica

i just recently stumbled upon and am still new to urban organica.  i am drawn to many aspects of this passionate mama.  her photography is beautiful.  she offers great tutorials of crafty goodness. she homeschools.  and her kiddos are completely adorable. 

5| sorta crunchy

megan is amazing.  she writes with conviction.  she takes time to ponder, reflect and share.  she touches many.  she challenges many.  she responds personally to many.  a great place to visit to become a better parent.  plus... she's sorta crunchy!

6| bits of sunshine

i immediately fell in love with elizabeth's blog.  she is real.  she is sweet.  i am encouraged when i read her beautiful words.  and she spreads bits of sunshine far and wide.

7| little red caboose

i found ella's blog when i first began learning about blogging.  i loved it, but i didn't really understand this whole blogging thing.  (really, i'm still learning.)  i didn't subscribe.  i didn't know how to find her again.  and then, one day, after i became a bit more familiar with and created my own blog... i found her.  hooray.  i was so excited.  she is an amazing photographer.  she homeschools.  she is crafty.  her boy is adorable.  she lives a charmed life.  and encourages me.

[i would have included mama milieu/feeding little foodies in this list, however, she was already linked to above... so i get to share more blog love.]

thanks mama bloggers.  i so appreciate your words.  i do adore your blogs.

if the mamas above choose to play along, they shall:

>post the logo of the blog love token 

>thank and link to the person who passed it on to them

>list seven things about themselves

>pass the token on to seven other bloggers (and leave comments on their blogs to let them know they have been loved)

thanks again mama milieu.

as i was nursing ezra today, like always, i held his hand in mine.  i gazed upon the freshness of his skin, his chubby little hands.  i noticed the contrast to my own, worn and wrinkled in time hands.  i pondered the amazing life our hands have.  taking us through our lives.  hand-y indeed.  holding. caressing.  feeding.  washing.  writing. creating.  caring.  driving.  pushing. pulling.  holding.  playing.  discovering. cleaning.  sorting.  living!  multi- functioning.  ever important.  and yet, seldom recognized for their goodness. today, i am grateful for the life my hands have given to me.  and what they will continue to provide.  today, appreciate your hands.  and recognize their efforts.

choosing what to do with time has been in my thoughts lately.  extra time has been scarce.  making how i spend it that much more important.  the need to prioritize is evident.  family.  tasks. rest.  fun.  i consider how i can give, if i am empty.  but there is little time to fill myself up.  so often we hear about taking time for ourselves, which i do believe is important and i do indeed enjoy.  however, sometimes our requirements as mama outweigh the importance of indulging in our desires. so with half open eyes- from serious lack of sleep, i trudge through. the eczema will continue to heal.  the teeth will come in.  i shall find sleep once again.  but until then, i am grateful for this role.  i love being mama.  my pedicure, massage, night out, will be waiting for me when the time is right.  but for now, i choose my precious boys.  and so... be encouraged.  evaluate your time.  enjoy it.  how is it right?  how does it need to change? what will you choose to do with it?

refreshing.  the scent of eucalyptus and tuberose.  a beautiful bouquet.  my senses awaken.  flowers calm me. soothe me.  fill me.  the need for fresh flowers in my home is essential.  i am grateful for the abundance of beauty in our world and cannot imagine living without it's presence.  what is your essential?  what can you not go without?

(ok, really... i CAN go without flowers. but truly, it makes a BIG difference in my days when they are present!)