August 26, 2009
17 years i have studied and dedicated myself to early childhood education. things like :: vygotsky, piaget, montessori, steiner, gardner, erikson, reggio emilia + more have been mainstays in my theories and practices as i have served families. 17 years of working full time. 17 years teaching + directing preschool. and today... i am in awe that said journey is coming to an end. tomorrow i begin a new journey. a journey serving my own family. teaching my own children, solely. a long awaited dream has come to life. and yet, i feel so awkward. working full time is all i've ever known. serving other families is all i have ever done. society seems to say staying home to be mama is not worthy of a professional status. not that status is important. at all. staying home to be mama is all i've ever wanted. but i do feel a struggle today. i feel a bit guilty that i will no longer be contributing funds to our ever increasing expenses. i feel that many do not understand the duties of everyday mama-hood. nor appreciate it for that matter. how can you appreciate something that you do not understand? i have changed. my philosophy + passion for children and education has greatly changed. i am appalled at my former 'professional' self. urging parents to enroll their children into our care- full time. into our education. into our hands. children spending more awake hours at school rather than home. children with teachers more than their parents. how could i have believed in this system? it saddens me to think about the children who are at 'school' before breakfast and go home just in time to eat dinner, take a bath & go to bed. it is evident in their behavior that this system is detrimental to their very being. i feel convicted. i was an advocate. i was an active member of organizations promoting 'excellence' in child development. and all the while, i was essentially promoting society's voice :: mom + dad both have to work to make it in today's world. working is important. children need to be in school. children need to be socialized. children need to learn. trained teachers are the ones who can teach them best. you do believe all of society's points right? or perhaps not. if you want to know more... feel free to ask. i'd love to share. but for now... i'm signing off. this post is much longer than anticipated. i do believe it is the longest post i have ever written! :) if you are still reading, i apologize for rambling on... thanks for making it with me this far! xoxo.