August 16, 2011

Drawing nearer to God on bended knee, just not how I may have chosen to do so:

This doesn't look like much. But it is exquisite wood. One of the perks of my husband being a woodworker extraordinaire is that he {rarely, but sometimes} has opportunities to obtain things we would not normally be able to obtain. This wood was from a multi-million dollar home. It was leftover from a project. And my man saw tremendous potential for it. He was able to get it for much less than it actually costs. It has been sitting in a pile outside, at our old home for almost three years. He never got around to doing what he had planned for it. Thankfully. Because now, it is our new front porch. I know you can't tell from the picture, but the wood is, in fact, beautiful. When we were getting ready to move into the new house, there were no entry steps/front porch at all. So quickly, the Mr. gave this wood it's purpose and built one level of the step. He then was able to work on a porch that is to run the length of the house. But he was not able to finish it. He had a contracted job to begin. And so, off to work he went, leaving the front porch undone. All the boards are laid, but none are secure. So they wobble. A lot.

Today, we hit the farmer's market + the regular market. All three kids in tow. As we returned home, Isaak and Ezra headed into the house with their loads as I continued bringing in the goods from the car. I contemplated whether I would bring Silas in first, or if I would leave him in the car. He was content, so I left him. Doors wide open as I loaded up everything I possibly could hold and headed up the front porch stairs. Before I knew it, one of the boards had tipped back and I lost my balance, arms full of grocery bags. I came down on both knees, my fall softened, just a bit, by a half gallon of orange juice. SPLASH! Orange juice everywhere. It exploded. All over me, on the front porch, in the house. And I was down for the count. The boys immediately ran over to me. Isaak was amazing. Taking such good care of his mama. He took all the bags inside. Brought me a towel and wipes. And helped Ezra, who just kept saying "Allright mama? Allright mama?" My knees were hurting bad. I couldn't really move. I just sat there. And began breathing like I was in labor. And this is when it hit me. I am alone. We moved from being just 12 houses away from my in laws and within minutes of great friends to being nowhere near anybody we know.

Mamas, do you ever get just a little fearful, that perhaps something could happen to you during the day when you are alone with your kids? I do. Now this is not something that consumes me, but I do think from time to time... what IF something were to happen. And I am alone with the kids. What happens? Right now, I am learning. Learning to draw near to God. Because sometimes, when you are close to others, it's just a little bit easier to be further from God.

After a few moments, I was able to get up. At this point, Silas was no longer content. I had to wobble to the car and bring him and the rest of the groceries in. Clean up the mess. Attend to children. Make dinner, yada yada yada. Scot has been working late into the evening to finish up a job, so I knew I'd be on my own. I was/am okay. But I was/am in a lot of pain. My poor knees!

If you rewind just a few weeks, I had a trip to LAKE TAHOE. I was walking through the airport pushing Silas in the stroller, when all of a sudden, I stumbled and fell to my knees. Silas was safe, but my knees were in PAIN! Today, I say the same thing. I am so thankful that, I listened to that quiet whisper to leave Silas in the car and unload the groceries first. Thank you Holy Spirit! For protecting my baby from what could've been a horrible injury. The way I squashed that OJ was frightening! It's a little funny to think about it in the OJ explosion... but if that was my kid, I'd be writing a much different story. Sometimes, moments are hard. But they are always a blessing.

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